Postcard from Ireland - Dublin

Dublin’s not a large city, it just seems large compared to all the villages, hamlets and sheep grazing points that constitute habitations in the rest of Ireland. It is, though, incredibly busy – mostly due to the hoards of tourists who crowd the streets, but especially crowd the Guinness souvenir shop. Judging from the number of people walking around clutching Guinness shop carrier bags, at any one time the population of Dublin is around 90% tourist.

Traffic is a problem, especially if you have spent the last week driving roads quiet enough to allow the absolute necessity of stopping in the middle of a secluded road to photograph yet another breathtaking view. To cope, Dublin has many pedestrian crossings, which announce when it is safe to cross with flashing lights and the sound of bongos!

If you are young or an alcoholic, then there’s lots to do in Dublin, and by that I mean that there are lots of bars to visit.

For those of us who have been battering their liver all week and were actually looking forward to spending some time not in the pub, there’s the Book of Kells. Housed in Trinity College this is a display about bibles, just the thing for a God fearing country. And while it is amazing to see illuminated manuscripts, you get the feeling that justice is not being done. The public, for whatever reason, love Dan Brown’s books and so we’re happy to learn a lot more about hidden symbolism in the pictures. And I’m sure that the older tourists would have appreciated labels on the artefacts that were slightly easier to read than the minute latin text they were describing.

A missed opportunity to make more of a fascinating subject. Frankly, if I were a monk doing nothing but sitting freezing all day, copying out text and dodging buggers, I’d want a bit more credit when my work went on show.

After that disappointment, the Long Room at Trinity College was a revelation. Simply put – I want one. It was like a cathedral meets a bookshop meets a computer game arena meets the opening of a Dan Brown thriller. Dr Bob Langdon has to find the secret of the Book of Kells, but discovers that it’s not in the museum after all, but rather hidden in plain sight among the thousands upon thousands of volumes in the Long Room. But is it filed under ‘K’ or ‘B’. That Dan Brown, I don’t know how he comes up with such fiendish puzzles.

The other place of pilgrimage is The Guinness storehouse, half shrine, half funfair, all about drinking. Years ago when you went to Dublin you could do the brewery tour. Now because of heath and safety gone mad you go through this specially made tourist attraction. Actually it’s not half bad, the start of the tour describes brewing and it’s a bit like Willy Wonka’s factory, but with beer.

The tour finishes at the Gravity Bar, where you get your free pint of Guinness or a soft drink. There is no cash bar and that, combined with the worst service I got from bar staff in Ireland, ensures that you have your one pint and then go. Otherwise I suppose people would be up there all day, enjoying the panoramic view of Dublin and drinking beer, enjoying themselves.

Better to make a swift exit, find a pub and watch the tourists over a pint.