SGC Index

The stress and worry of trying to gauge whether your street is on the way up or down and whether your neighbourhood is gentrified or chavvish has been effectively removed with the approaching football world cup. This means that once again transit vans, car-vans and cars piloted by the sort of person who considers themselves an intellectual if all their tats are spelled correctly are flying the cross of St George.

It used to be that if your high street had more than three empty shops or boarded up windows, it was time to think about moving and that if your Wimpy was replaced by a Starburger, you should be seriously worried about property prices in the area or, god forbid, if your high street was home to one of those KFC franchises where the K stands for Kansas you were truly fucked.

Now you can tell at a glance the demographic make up of your street simply by counting the number of St George's Crosses being flown from cars. Looking out the window it's not too bad but I was travelling through a neighbouring district recently and it was like a semaphore convention. Eerily, it's the same area that always shines the most brightly at Christmas what with all the neon Santas and everything.

My protracted wrangle with the council about my erection of a flagpole on the grounds means I shall not be flying my standard, let alone my special and I shall certainly not be flying the SGC. It's the St Andrew's cross or nothing and I can't see one for sale anywhere.