Thursday - Brought to book

Despite being in a chi-chi village, my second favourite second-hand book shop (and by god it just LOOKS like a second hand book-shop should look, it even smells like a second hand book-shop should smell) continues to supply Rumpole and Amis to the masses - and me.

I, apparently, am not the only one who likes to browse the paperbacks in the hope of discovering a book of erotic woodcuts. While leafing through a Dick Barton back number, a small ginger woman with harassment and a nose ring all over her face stomped up to the back of the shop and harangued her husband along the following lines: 'are you coming out because little Gemma is in her push chair screaming for her daddy and I've been standing out there waiting for ten minutes and I don't think that standing outside a shop is a great way to spend my holiday'.

She stomped out of the shop and I nearly bloody well followed her out before I remembered it wasn't me she was shouting at. So what does matey do? He goes upstairs to continue browsing.

Bad move mate. I've upset a lot of women in my time and I recognise the signs. Indeed i was so intimidated I finished browsing, paid for a couple of books and did a runner, passing the women again as she returned.

I believe she grabbed a hard-bound copy of 'Bunty' and beat the shit out of her husband with it and if she didn't she should have.