Sate of Alert: Peach with a hint of rosemary

I have no idea what the current State of Terror is. I have spent the week in a glorious media-free bubble or, as others describe it, drinking.

Not watching the news in nature’s Prozac. Every night for the last few weeks I have been watching tanks rolling into nurseries and general carnage, then we had the follow up with bearded tossers taking explosive bottles of squash onto aeroplanes in a plot lifted in its entirety from Die Hard III. Then you had people whinging because they could not take their teddy or something on board with them.

I’ve always thought that the airline that said ‘we know there’s a risk, but sod it, we’ll take the chance if you will’ would make a fortune. Same goes for train services. Okay, so a lorry hit the bridge earlier. We could wait for seven hours for an engineer - but how about a show of hands to see if we should chance it? Okay? Great, hold on.