Size is the issue
Is big or small beautiful?
iPods are tiny, but venerated as design classics. Airplanes are getting bigger, so are cruise liners. Obviously the shipping industry is squaring up for another one-to-one with an iceberg and this time they fancy their chances. Computers are getting smaller, but the e mails that we get are all about how to make bits of ourselves bigger!
Cars are getting smaller too – well, some of them. The trend seems to be that if the car manufactures make small cars, people will sort of forget that they run on petrol, not fresh air, and that smaller, cheaper cars mean more people can have them. So, more traffic, just in smaller bits. It’s like a fat kid who thinks if he eats broken biscuits he won’t put on weight. At the same time, we have cars on steroids – and these are not military style things or even 4x4s, these are normal family cars – well, normal family cars that appear to have been not so much designed as cross-bred with small lorries.
There’s no doubt about it, the majority of cars are getting bigger – either that, or the people that run car parks are out once every few weeks re-painting the lines closer together.
I bet big cars really fucked their grand plan for squeezing in a few more cars into their car parks – a day will come soon when they’ll have to repaint with the lines wider apart – just like the airplane designers kept the same number of seats, but because we’re all so lardy now, the plane had to be made wider. If they don’t widen the lines nobody will be able to get their doors open and we’ll be faced with the prospect of people exiting their cars via the sunroof. Comical, but hardly practical.
I think though that the prize for the most ridiculous idea in the automotive industry has to be the stretch car. There’s only one reason for stretching a car – it’s so you can paint it pink, go up against Dick Dastardly in the Whacky Races and call it the cockmobile. A good reason is NOT to ferry round a bunch of women on a hen night out of their skulls on WKD blue.
The trouble is, they are not even stretching character cars anymore. Time was when it was a limo being stretched, or a hummer, or a mini (and what is the fucking point of that? If you can’t pull the Italian Job in it, it’s not a mini, you German tossers), but they now appear to be stretching people-carriers. Huh?
I want to see the stretch transit. Room enough for builders, equipment and a tea bar. And I want it towing a caravan.
iPods are tiny, but venerated as design classics. Airplanes are getting bigger, so are cruise liners. Obviously the shipping industry is squaring up for another one-to-one with an iceberg and this time they fancy their chances. Computers are getting smaller, but the e mails that we get are all about how to make bits of ourselves bigger!
Cars are getting smaller too – well, some of them. The trend seems to be that if the car manufactures make small cars, people will sort of forget that they run on petrol, not fresh air, and that smaller, cheaper cars mean more people can have them. So, more traffic, just in smaller bits. It’s like a fat kid who thinks if he eats broken biscuits he won’t put on weight. At the same time, we have cars on steroids – and these are not military style things or even 4x4s, these are normal family cars – well, normal family cars that appear to have been not so much designed as cross-bred with small lorries.
There’s no doubt about it, the majority of cars are getting bigger – either that, or the people that run car parks are out once every few weeks re-painting the lines closer together.
I bet big cars really fucked their grand plan for squeezing in a few more cars into their car parks – a day will come soon when they’ll have to repaint with the lines wider apart – just like the airplane designers kept the same number of seats, but because we’re all so lardy now, the plane had to be made wider. If they don’t widen the lines nobody will be able to get their doors open and we’ll be faced with the prospect of people exiting their cars via the sunroof. Comical, but hardly practical.
I think though that the prize for the most ridiculous idea in the automotive industry has to be the stretch car. There’s only one reason for stretching a car – it’s so you can paint it pink, go up against Dick Dastardly in the Whacky Races and call it the cockmobile. A good reason is NOT to ferry round a bunch of women on a hen night out of their skulls on WKD blue.
The trouble is, they are not even stretching character cars anymore. Time was when it was a limo being stretched, or a hummer, or a mini (and what is the fucking point of that? If you can’t pull the Italian Job in it, it’s not a mini, you German tossers), but they now appear to be stretching people-carriers. Huh?I want to see the stretch transit. Room enough for builders, equipment and a tea bar. And I want it towing a caravan.
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