Wednesday Quiz
Question one:
You are about to publish your novel, do you use your own name, or a pen name?
A) Your own name, of course. That way you have a guaranteed readership of at least the few people who remember you from school, who will be curious to know if you have used their name or character in the book and, if so, will buy it to aid its success and make you worth suing.
B) A pen name. You do not want your mother knowing that you are capable of writing the sentence: 'Daphne thrilled as she licked the taramoslata from the back of Jason's knee'.
C) Your own name but with a strategically placed, possibly invented, middle initial, allowing you plausible denial but also meaning that friends and relatives will feel more motivated to move your paperback to a position of prominence in the stacks of any bookshop they visit.
Question two:
Is ignorance bliss? For many office plankton, the end of the financial year means it's time for annual performance assessment reports. Is it better to feel sprightly because you have been described as 'obtuse', or Google the word and spend the rest of your 'career' in a sullen mood?
A) Ignorance is bliss. Especially when a relationship is ending. On being told you are a shameless narcissist, it's better to think somebody considers you a good gardener than look up the term (in between googling your own name) and have to face an ugly truth when you could be facing a good looking reflection.
B) Knowledge is power. Knowing stuff allows you to leave the other person in no doubt as to your feelings, especially if your knowledge is an in-depth understanding of martial arts.
C) Wing it! Nothing wierds people out more than their conversational partner misusing words normally deployed with those with a large vocabulary. Those who know you are misusing words like 'intransigent' (possibly in the context of ordering how you want your eggs done) will either be too polite to correct you or will doubt their own understanding of the meaning. (For a bonus point participate in the following social exercise - use the word 'occluded' conversationally, to infer that it is the technical description for the layer of jelly between the pork and the pastry crust in a pork pie. See how many people ask you what the hell you are talking about).
Question three:
Is camouflage a viable fashion option for anyone over thirty?
A) Hell no!
B) Hell yes! What else does one wear while paintballing, going to militia meetings or hiding in a hedge when stalking the new girl from accounts?
C) Only if all your colleagues are wearing it too and you don't wear bright colours because not only do they make you look washed out because of your complexion but it makes it easier for the fucking Taliban to snipe at you. With an RPG.
You are about to publish your novel, do you use your own name, or a pen name?
A) Your own name, of course. That way you have a guaranteed readership of at least the few people who remember you from school, who will be curious to know if you have used their name or character in the book and, if so, will buy it to aid its success and make you worth suing.
B) A pen name. You do not want your mother knowing that you are capable of writing the sentence: 'Daphne thrilled as she licked the taramoslata from the back of Jason's knee'.
C) Your own name but with a strategically placed, possibly invented, middle initial, allowing you plausible denial but also meaning that friends and relatives will feel more motivated to move your paperback to a position of prominence in the stacks of any bookshop they visit.
Question two:
Is ignorance bliss? For many office plankton, the end of the financial year means it's time for annual performance assessment reports. Is it better to feel sprightly because you have been described as 'obtuse', or Google the word and spend the rest of your 'career' in a sullen mood?
A) Ignorance is bliss. Especially when a relationship is ending. On being told you are a shameless narcissist, it's better to think somebody considers you a good gardener than look up the term (in between googling your own name) and have to face an ugly truth when you could be facing a good looking reflection.
B) Knowledge is power. Knowing stuff allows you to leave the other person in no doubt as to your feelings, especially if your knowledge is an in-depth understanding of martial arts.
C) Wing it! Nothing wierds people out more than their conversational partner misusing words normally deployed with those with a large vocabulary. Those who know you are misusing words like 'intransigent' (possibly in the context of ordering how you want your eggs done) will either be too polite to correct you or will doubt their own understanding of the meaning. (For a bonus point participate in the following social exercise - use the word 'occluded' conversationally, to infer that it is the technical description for the layer of jelly between the pork and the pastry crust in a pork pie. See how many people ask you what the hell you are talking about).
Question three:
Is camouflage a viable fashion option for anyone over thirty?
A) Hell no!
B) Hell yes! What else does one wear while paintballing, going to militia meetings or hiding in a hedge when stalking the new girl from accounts?
C) Only if all your colleagues are wearing it too and you don't wear bright colours because not only do they make you look washed out because of your complexion but it makes it easier for the fucking Taliban to snipe at you. With an RPG.
2 Comments:
1. B
2. C
3. B
and yes, those are monkeys on my shoulders.
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