Sunday, October 31, 2010

Norfolk notes - the rented car

This holiday, I decided, would be one where we travelled in style. This was to be Norfolk in October and so I wanted something that would accommodate the entire family and a wet dog with half of the beach clinging to it in comfort, where we could all sit together in damp anoraks waiting for the rain to cease and not have to worry about catching Legionnaire's disease from the condensation running down the inside of the windows. Also, it allows family members to be a comfortable distance from one another during any cooling off period following disputes about who gets to sit up front, choice of music and so on.

As it happened the weather was great, but having a big car brought other benefits, like legroom, being able to take a mountain of picnic with us and using a single car all the time, thus saving at least a tenner on parking, which was useful to offset the exorbitant cost of the rental.

The Chrysler Grand Voyager is, as the name suggests, big. It's so big that the rear passengers are in a different time zone to the driver. So big that the people in the back have their own climate controls, although what's really required is an intercom. It's so big that the middle row of seats fold down to form a picnic table and that, for me, sealed the deal.

There are other interesting features. For instance, the rear doors slide open instead of swing open and are electric, operated by the key for or buttons inside the car. For years, I have been opening and closing my own car door manually, like a mug, like a second class citizen. The Americans have realised that this, like any exercise that you don't pay to do, is demeaning and have simplified the whole process. Of course, a contributing factor to this labour saving luxury is that the damn doors are about as heavy as barn doors and to open them manually you need either a team of horses or a bloody good run up.

While the size was a bonus, I'm not sure it was a great idea in retrospect to. Choose that car for a trip to Norfolk that entailed daily jaunts along the narrow and winding road that runs along the coast, especially in the 'Stiffkey squeeze' and especially not at harvest time with so many tractors and other really, really large bits of agricultural machinery sharing the roads. It's when you hear all the passengers breathing in at the same time that you realise you've just had a narrow squeeze. That, and the fact that the wing mirror has been folded flat back against the car when you brushed that wall. Mirrors are like cats whiskers, if you can get them through a gap, the rest of the car will follow. Of course that's buggger all help if you've already firmly wedged the bonnet of the car be teen a wall and a chap on a mobility chariot.

With the wide seats to accommodate the larger posterior and the electric doors that hinted at a certain idleness, it comes as no surprise to learn that the car was designed by those conspicuous consumers, the Americans. Wide seats, lazy doors and it being an automatic rather than having manual gears I can deal with (even if I did try and change gear with the hand break for the first half hour) but even I was surprised by the number of beverage holders the thing had. There was even a beverage cup holder that flipped out of the side of the rear passenger seats! Is dehydration a feature of travel by road in America? I can understand if you want space for your big gulp if you are, say, driving across Death Valley, but how much fluid does one person need when they are popping to the shops.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Ann said...

oh guh. (rolling my eyes)

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, apologies for the mild baiting but look, it was HUGE! (And I loved it, oh I feel so dirty...those power doors, the beverage holders, the excess of it all!) No, must be strong, must love my bicycle and reject such conspicuous consumerism.

Did I mention the privacy glass?

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your eloquent sense of scale. I once drove a Daimler Barker Special Sports - a convertible, made in about 1950. The bonnet was so long (well about 7 foot) that it made you feel as if you were taking half the scenery with you. It took Lady Docker to cover the Motor Show model in gold leaf stars and give conspicuous consumption a bad name.

Zab.

11:52 PM  

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