The search for a decent picnic basket

The search for a decent picnic basket, no, I'll correct that, the search for just the right picnic basket is something that has been occupying me for some months now. There is much more to it than simply Googling 'picnic basket' and filtering out the pictures of Yogi Bear. I'm just glad that the term has not yet been adopted by the deviant community to define some repulsive sexual practice that leaves you with wicker marks on your arse.

What I'm looking for is something traditional, with six plates, six bowls, six side plates and six cups and saucers, cutlery, seasoning containers and plenty of space for tubs of food and so on. I am prepared to concede that a separate basket will be required for beverages, or possibly two extra baskets, one for red, one for white. It does not seem that tall an ask.

I also realise that it would probably be beneficial if it came on little wheels and possibly had a small motor to power it.

But there seems to be a dearth of decent picnic baskets, especially ones that come with a separate linen compartment. Possibly this is a gap in the market that I can plug with some sort of cottage industry, bespoke picnic baskets. Get the baskets of various sizes woven in China, or even better somewhere where there are lots of neurotics who look on basket weaving as therapy, like the Home Counties, then outfit to the customers requirement.

Of course, the thing to do would be to run a bespoke service. This would mean that you would not give the customer what they asked for, but what they really needed. Thus somebody who thought that they wanted a four piece traditional set up would, after a brief consultation, be presented with a basket that contains a wine rack, a cork screw, compartments for glasses and a small space for bar snacks. Who could ask for more?

I still think that the ultimate picnic basket could be mode by adapting one of those wicker coffins that they use for green burials (don't they, well, leak?). You've got space there for a dinner service, lamps, a small stove, a larder and a wine cellar, and best of all it's got handles all the way round so the six of you it takes to carry the bloody thing can all get a good grip.