Taking less water with it
I’m bristling and bridling at the way the utilility companies are currently raising prices for gas and electricity and the wonderful water company has introduced a hose pipe ban meaning it’s illegal to water your garden with a hose but it’s apparently all right for them to make a fat profit (spending same on eating roasted lark stuffed with diamonds off of platinum plates no doubt) while millions of gallons of water is wasted every day with leaks. So we have well watered gutters but brown gardens.
This is England. We need rolling lawns that are green. Where else is one supposed to practise one’s putting, polish up one’s croquet swing and most important of all, stagger about on when pissed as a fart on gin. Who the flip wants a ‘Mediterranean garden’ - which some believe to be growing basil in pots but I know actually means a dusty patch of earth with a forlorn goat tethered in the middle of it.
If the MDs of the water, gas and electricity companies actually dressed to represent their policies, then they’d swagger about in masks, three cornered hats and my quarterly bills would say ‘stand and deliver’ instead of ‘why not pay by direct debit?’.
Which is why I’ve been thinking about self build and regeneration. Self build because I like the idea of building my own house and microgeneration because I think the idea of wind turbines is cool. And I’m tight. Also, if you cover your new house in enough photovoltaic panels and windmills, you never have to pay those blood sucking electricity companies again. As for water, guttering and a 500 gallon tank should do the job.
The possible flaw in this is that one would probably have to go to a green architect to get the best of integrating microgeneration into a new build and I suspect it would not impress if I was to say ‘oh yea, and I want a hot tub too’. Still, I’m sure you can have an eco-friendly hot tub. One could heat it with goats or something.
This is England. We need rolling lawns that are green. Where else is one supposed to practise one’s putting, polish up one’s croquet swing and most important of all, stagger about on when pissed as a fart on gin. Who the flip wants a ‘Mediterranean garden’ - which some believe to be growing basil in pots but I know actually means a dusty patch of earth with a forlorn goat tethered in the middle of it.
If the MDs of the water, gas and electricity companies actually dressed to represent their policies, then they’d swagger about in masks, three cornered hats and my quarterly bills would say ‘stand and deliver’ instead of ‘why not pay by direct debit?’.
Which is why I’ve been thinking about self build and regeneration. Self build because I like the idea of building my own house and microgeneration because I think the idea of wind turbines is cool. And I’m tight. Also, if you cover your new house in enough photovoltaic panels and windmills, you never have to pay those blood sucking electricity companies again. As for water, guttering and a 500 gallon tank should do the job.
The possible flaw in this is that one would probably have to go to a green architect to get the best of integrating microgeneration into a new build and I suspect it would not impress if I was to say ‘oh yea, and I want a hot tub too’. Still, I’m sure you can have an eco-friendly hot tub. One could heat it with goats or something.
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