Bandwidth

Visiting darkest Midlands, and imagine my surprise and delight when booting up the laptop and discovering that one of Mum's neighbours has wireless broadband! Oh the wonder! Oh the (shudder) pleasure of it all! Not only is it broadbaand, but it's free and it's not mine. Immedietly wonder which one of the neighbours it is. Bets are on the people opposit as they have flash cars and 'look the type' but you never can tell if the pensioners either side are hiding under a veneer of respectability and are actually running some sort of internet based garden gnome porn business or have a web cam pointed at a cupboard full of Thai girls or something unsavoury.

Certainly I put on me patch, hoised me parrot and pirated bandwidth like there was no tomorrow. The only problem was that, even though the wireless network was not password protected, the outgoing mail server is of course unknown. So it was back to licking the back of the queen's head.