What a difference a season makes

In winter, you can sometimes be the only person on the beach and you're usually the only person who doesn't own a 4x4. In summer - the caravan parks are open. This means that a lot more people are wandering around in replica sports gear. On the one hand, England are currently doing very well in the world cup and so it appears every bugger is wearing a red or white shirt. So you'd think spotting chavs would be harder but not so. Luckily, like the SGX index being a clue to how chavvy an area is (or even a car, current record is three flags, one on ariel and two on windows), tats are your guide to how chavvy a person is and thanks to tee shirts and shorts it's easy to take an audit.

Spotted sitting outside a seaside boozer today were the same family we saw at the world cup game, whom we strongly suspect of staying at the nearby caravan site and whom we have dubbed 'Swiss Family Chav'. This is partly because they are chavvy, partly because it's funny but mostly because I'm a snob.

The caravan park, I should point out, is also the home to 'luxury chalets'. 1. Oxymoron. 2. Some of us have been on caravan holidays as kids and have just about got the smell of the toilet block out of our hair thanks. 3. We've seen the neighbours you'd have, Swiss Family Chav, who would start by thinking their caravan was better than their home and somehow end the week by having outside their caravan two fridges, three pick-up trucks up on blocks, a dozen assorted dogs of the type favoured by drug dealers and, in the end, an armed response unit.