Sunday, September 17, 2006

Latest outrage

I have, of late, found my fuse shortened, my spleen more often in need of venting and the boiling point of my blood now reduced to room temperature. To try and combat either flying into rage or the drinks cupboard every time I read the news and screaming 'WTF' more than a dozen times a day, I have been training myself to take delight in the simple things in life.

When I saw the story about those stupid, fat, ugly witches that are taking orders for junk food from schoolkids and then delivering them through the bars of the school while standing in a graveyard - what in the name of all that is damned and floating in a shit filled lake in the lowest reaches of Hades is going on? It would appear that some pikeys are trampling the graves of the dead in order to give kids chips for lunch. What's the matter, are they worried that they are not getting enough fast food at home?

On the one hand, a 'backlash' to the healthy eating campaign of Jamie Oliver, on the other, a load of thick-as-shit chavs out to make some money.

One look at the creatures pushing their trans fatty acids, grease and lips and hooves in the shape of a burger tells you everything you need to know (yes, I am one to judge on appearances, what about it?) What are they using the profit they get from the kids on, eh? Crack. Crack and vodka. Crack and vodka and more chips (show me a pusher who's not a user).

As for any excuse about the quality of the food or not getting enough time - what absolute bollocks. Anyone who hands chips through a school gate to a panting, sweaty, spotty teenager one step away from a heart-attack and two steps away from a bellywheel is not the sort to be able to construct a reasonable debate about freedoms and obligations in society and the role the individual plays in accepting and resisting the machinery of state.

Bottom line - the kids are in school. What they do in their own time is up to them but this is not their own time. They are temporary citizens in a despot's regime, not a democracy. They should do as they are bloody well told or bring a packed lunch. As for anyone who genuinely believes that having fast food every day is acceptable - where have you been, sat in McDs for the last five years staring gormlesssly out of the window, unable to watch television because you can't concentrate and unable to read because you couldn't pay attention in school?

Luckily, this is easily resolved. The priest should mention that, 'ah-hem, this is not public land, so kindly fuck the fucking fuck off' (With luck it's the parish of Paul Wicker, the Tall Vicar) and the school should put up plywood - (any pikey having a friend read this to you, let me give you the cultural reference you can tell the reporter from the Star - say 'it's like the Berlin Wall' because obviously it is protecting one group of people from decadence but more importantly because, looking at the photographs, the monsters flogging chips would not look out of place in 1970s East Germany).

Or, stop educating kids about the dangers of fast food. Oh, and remove the crossing on the road outside the school too, because obviously that removes their right to be mown down by some tosser in two tons of 4x4 speeding by a school, not concentrating and eating a burger.

I've eaten at '15', Jamie Oliver's place and it was, as a dining experience the best I've ever had while eating out. Given a choice between eating there and dinner at the home of one of the chav hounds, I know where I'd rather strap on the nose-bag.

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