Adopting an attitude
Hgjfhyrnvjdkky
Hfdjdurrnvkdhi
Hjdretfhghbvhjrhg
Those are the letters spelled out when you whack your forehead against your keyboard in frustration.
Fhgeyrvfbjkfbjvjhergejdksla;a’LSAKDJDHjdgfgfhfdkjsl
Is what is spelled out when you whack your forehead against the keyboard and then roll it from side to side in the hope that when you have stopped, you’ll either have drawn blood, the world will be a better place or you will have brain damaged yourself to the point where it seems quite acceptable that a story about a pop star adopting a child is getting so much media coverage.
And what media coverage it is. You can see the editors of telly programmes and newspapers furiously wanking with demented pleasure as they bark orders into phones, the receivers of which are getting heavier with spittle by the syllable. Let’s get photographers, hundreds of them, to get a picture of the kid. Let’s jam cameras in his face, let’s stake out the pop stars home. Let’s have pictures, let’s have ‘experts’, let’s have comment and analysis because if we have enough sound and fury, the stupid of the world will not notice there is no news.
The media is furious. Pop stars should know their place and that place is to be aloof and glittery. As for African children, they should know their place too - which is to stare out of pictures with those big eyes, starving to death. They should not be whisked through airports after travelling first class.
Probably Madonna just wants another child because she wants to ensure she can continue to use the mother and baby car-parking space in her local Tesco. Certainly, judging by the sort of people that actually use them, adopting a kid for this purpose would fit right into their normal behaviour pattern. Personally I don’t give a shit about these baby and mother car parking spaces - if you want to bring your kid to the supermarket, fine, but don’t expect special treatment. Just because you got pissed on cheap vino a few years ago and had unprotected sex with some desperate horny git does not give you the right to park closer to the supermarket.
Or maybe it does. I’ll make a deal. If they behave in the store you can park where you like. That’s no shouting, screaming, running or snatching stuff off shelves.
Too much to ask? Thought so.
I have no problem with people snatching kids from African countries. Really, what was the future for that kid? Did it involve a privileged and monied upbringing and a private school education? Possibly not. Civil war and AIDS? Hummmn.
I don’t have a problem with this at all. In fact the way to do it is to get a landie and ram-raid the orphanage and scoop up a whole lot of kids and drive non-stop across Africa and Europe to offer these kids something better, ending up by doing a handbreak turn across three ‘mother and baby’ spaces and pinning a ‘wise vehicle choice?’ protester against the wall.
Obviously there would have to be a couple of stops on the way to defray expenses, flogging few of the kids to shoe and textile manufacturers to act as slave labour, but as these products are bought in such numbers in the west there’d be no moral objection. I mean, have you seen the MPG on a landie?
Hfdjdurrnvkdhi
Hjdretfhghbvhjrhg
Those are the letters spelled out when you whack your forehead against your keyboard in frustration.
Fhgeyrvfbjkfbjvjhergejdksla;a’LSAKDJDHjdgfgfhfdkjsl
Is what is spelled out when you whack your forehead against the keyboard and then roll it from side to side in the hope that when you have stopped, you’ll either have drawn blood, the world will be a better place or you will have brain damaged yourself to the point where it seems quite acceptable that a story about a pop star adopting a child is getting so much media coverage.
And what media coverage it is. You can see the editors of telly programmes and newspapers furiously wanking with demented pleasure as they bark orders into phones, the receivers of which are getting heavier with spittle by the syllable. Let’s get photographers, hundreds of them, to get a picture of the kid. Let’s jam cameras in his face, let’s stake out the pop stars home. Let’s have pictures, let’s have ‘experts’, let’s have comment and analysis because if we have enough sound and fury, the stupid of the world will not notice there is no news.
The media is furious. Pop stars should know their place and that place is to be aloof and glittery. As for African children, they should know their place too - which is to stare out of pictures with those big eyes, starving to death. They should not be whisked through airports after travelling first class.
Probably Madonna just wants another child because she wants to ensure she can continue to use the mother and baby car-parking space in her local Tesco. Certainly, judging by the sort of people that actually use them, adopting a kid for this purpose would fit right into their normal behaviour pattern. Personally I don’t give a shit about these baby and mother car parking spaces - if you want to bring your kid to the supermarket, fine, but don’t expect special treatment. Just because you got pissed on cheap vino a few years ago and had unprotected sex with some desperate horny git does not give you the right to park closer to the supermarket.
Or maybe it does. I’ll make a deal. If they behave in the store you can park where you like. That’s no shouting, screaming, running or snatching stuff off shelves.
Too much to ask? Thought so.
I have no problem with people snatching kids from African countries. Really, what was the future for that kid? Did it involve a privileged and monied upbringing and a private school education? Possibly not. Civil war and AIDS? Hummmn.
I don’t have a problem with this at all. In fact the way to do it is to get a landie and ram-raid the orphanage and scoop up a whole lot of kids and drive non-stop across Africa and Europe to offer these kids something better, ending up by doing a handbreak turn across three ‘mother and baby’ spaces and pinning a ‘wise vehicle choice?’ protester against the wall.
Obviously there would have to be a couple of stops on the way to defray expenses, flogging few of the kids to shoe and textile manufacturers to act as slave labour, but as these products are bought in such numbers in the west there’d be no moral objection. I mean, have you seen the MPG on a landie?
2 Comments:
Sure, I feel sorry for African kids, but I also feel sorry for lots of kids here in America that have shitty parents who smoke crack and then beat them and throw them out onto the streets. Guess it's not as glamorous to adopt those kids.
Possibly harder to adopt kids who still have parents, especially if they think 'if I lose my kid, who will go get my crack?'.
Agree that something is loopy here.
Suggest though that maybe rich people do give to domestic charities but also think to themselves 'fuck it, that kid is coming home with me'.
Certainly was the case when a BBC journalist leaving some war torn hell-hole grabbed a war orphan he knew of and took her home with him - now that really was a case of 'no papers, no nothing - bribary and corruption when it worked, invoking the name of the BBC when it didn't'. Got her home and sorted out the shit-storm afterwards. Respect!
Post a Comment
<< Home