Grounded
Ah, the romance of air travel. It used to be all about glamour. Actually, it used to be all about danger, then it was all about bombing Dresden and in-flight entertainment meant dodging flak. Somewhere along the way though it turned into something akin to a national Express coach with wings bolted to the side.
Then some nutters reminded everyone that aeroplanes and tall buildings were mutually incompatible and the next thing you know you’re not allowed to take bottles of fizzy water, or indeed bombs, onto the aircraft. Perrier and semtex were for the hold, thank you very much.
A few blokes with beards resulted in the sort of airport chaos that even the combined might of striking Spanish baggage handlers and French air-traffic controllers could not match. Now it would appear that fog has had the same result. All domestic flights from the UK are grounded.
This has resulted in a lightning reaction from the airport staff. A simple solution would be to arrange alternative ground travel (only domestic flights being cancelled) or put the grounded passengers in hotel rooms. However, they decided to go down the tents and blankets route. WTF? Tents, in December? The scenes are like something from a disaster zone. Tune in to the news and you might think that there’s some sort of weird exchange programme going on, where some wealthy western family are spending Christmas in a tent under a blanket while the Iraq family whose home they helped to bomb the shit out of stay at their place in the Cotswolds.
Apparently the Israeli’s have already tried to bulldoze the tented ‘refugee camp’ three times. Not bad going.
The question is though - why are these people there at all? These are domestic flights we’re talking about. The solution, surely, is to get on a tube, get on a train and, ta dah, several hours later you’re wherever you wanted to be and probably all the better for a few drinks along the way - what’s the issue?
Airships have to be the answer. Never mind this tedious having to take off from a runway and maybe hitting something, like a 747 or a jolly fat man in an airborne sleigh. Just release the rope, go 400 foot straight up above the fog and then drop her into first. Three or four days pleasant cruising over the Atlantic say - made all the more fun by dropping things on the QE2 as you pass her - and you’re in New York. Top! It would also put the glamour back into travel as, if I were running the airship service, I would insist that everyone wear evening dress at all times.
Then some nutters reminded everyone that aeroplanes and tall buildings were mutually incompatible and the next thing you know you’re not allowed to take bottles of fizzy water, or indeed bombs, onto the aircraft. Perrier and semtex were for the hold, thank you very much.
A few blokes with beards resulted in the sort of airport chaos that even the combined might of striking Spanish baggage handlers and French air-traffic controllers could not match. Now it would appear that fog has had the same result. All domestic flights from the UK are grounded.
This has resulted in a lightning reaction from the airport staff. A simple solution would be to arrange alternative ground travel (only domestic flights being cancelled) or put the grounded passengers in hotel rooms. However, they decided to go down the tents and blankets route. WTF? Tents, in December? The scenes are like something from a disaster zone. Tune in to the news and you might think that there’s some sort of weird exchange programme going on, where some wealthy western family are spending Christmas in a tent under a blanket while the Iraq family whose home they helped to bomb the shit out of stay at their place in the Cotswolds.
Apparently the Israeli’s have already tried to bulldoze the tented ‘refugee camp’ three times. Not bad going.
The question is though - why are these people there at all? These are domestic flights we’re talking about. The solution, surely, is to get on a tube, get on a train and, ta dah, several hours later you’re wherever you wanted to be and probably all the better for a few drinks along the way - what’s the issue?
Airships have to be the answer. Never mind this tedious having to take off from a runway and maybe hitting something, like a 747 or a jolly fat man in an airborne sleigh. Just release the rope, go 400 foot straight up above the fog and then drop her into first. Three or four days pleasant cruising over the Atlantic say - made all the more fun by dropping things on the QE2 as you pass her - and you’re in New York. Top! It would also put the glamour back into travel as, if I were running the airship service, I would insist that everyone wear evening dress at all times.
1 Comments:
Didn't realize you like wearing evening dresses so much.
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