Postcard from Spain - Climb every mountain

A fence construicted to trap snow and so make a piest. Also useful as a handrail to haul yourself up the mountain. Cursing optional but recommended.

What happens on the mountain stays on the mountain.

Well, maybe not.

The Sierra Nevadas are serious, proper mountains, with snow on them and everything. Luckily, they also have service roads reaching hight into them to allow access to the ski-lifts and so on that litter the slopes. In may, most of the pieste snow is gone and the remaining stuff serves two purposes – to make cluimbing bloody difficult and to melt suddenly, decanting several tonnes of rubble and scree on top of the hapless climber.

We took the ascent of Mount Valeta very seriously…after we realised what we were letting ourselves in for. This moment occurred when we stepped out of the car after a drive from the coast, now one hour away and 2,000 metres below us, into thin, cold air. Off with the shorts, on with trousers, fleeces and North face gor-tex and so on.

We also stopped for breakfast of strong coffee and a ham sandwich (the ham sliced thin to the point of cruelty as is the local custom). I'm not sure, but I think the cafe owner was suggesting we purchase a couple of bottles of 'Cruzcampo light' for the drive or ascent. Knowing the effect of alcohol at altitude, this is no doubt the mountaineering/driving beer of choice to go with your breakfast.

What really made a difference was the hiking poles we took. Not only could we have pretend light-sabre fights, but after about an hour when we were making our breathless, wheezing way up the mountain, they stopped us falling over and tobogganing on our arses back to base camp.

At one point we were passed by a handful of pensioners in cagoules. I’m not sure if it’s technically possible to have a low point on a mountain, but that was one.

Apparently you can see the coast of Africa from Valeta, no doubt if the cloud ever lifted we would have been treated to spectacular views. As it was, we hiked above the cloud layer. After hours of climbing, being rewarded with more altitude sickness with every metre we gained, we reached the ‘second summit’. Here we planted the Union Flag, exchanged a hearty handshake and decided to make for sea level as quickly as possible.

The hardest bit of the hike? The last ten minutes, cloud, hail, snow and sleet in one go. No wonder serious climbers a) acclimatise b) use Sherpas and c) use the ski-lift when available.