The democratisation of fame has had some interesting effects. It has meant, for instance, that the currency of celebrity has become devalued as people that appeared on television simply because they are shut up in a posh portakabin with a dozen other attention-hungry tossers are offered magazine 'deals' (here's ten quid love, get your thripps out). Of course, talented people are still famous and we can access their work through books, galleries and films.
But thanks to the interweb, we can now access the work of not famous but still talented people in other ways - the latest being pod-casting.
I bloody love the idea of pod-casting. It's the ultimate in local radio. The basic idea is that you record a programme on your powerbook and put it on the web for others to download and listen to via their MP3 players. The podcasts cited in early stories were about half-hour music shows featuring local bands.
Even better though are later developments. Apparently you can download 'hacked' museum audio-guides. What a great idea, no more of that annoying having to pay a tenner for the audio guide, last used by somebody with mad-ear disease!
I MUST download the new iTunes release, which has allows you to download podcasts. There must, I'm sure, be podcasts that are the best bits from local radio - maybe just somebody reading lists of late-night Chemist shops?
Naturally, I have an idea for a podcast. I think that the format lends itself ideally to city guides and, in particular, ghost walks! Worcester would be perfect and of course, the great thing about it is you wouldn't actually have to bother with any of that tedious business of research! When it comes to the paranormal you can just make up any tosh whatsoever. And remember, you're actually right inside somebody's head, you can use sound effects and everything! For example:
'BEEP - Site seven. You should now be standing at the top of Friar Street. Walking now back towards the city centre, you can see, on your left, the multi-story car park. This concrete carbuncle is proof that it is not just old buildings that are haunted - it is home to the eerie 'dogging spectre of Level Three'. It's said that a young man, out for an evening of mild perversion and charmless rutting with a total stranger, was giving his all in the back of a transit when the back door was opened by the husband of the woman he was, at that very moment, dogging. Ironically, the husband was interested in dogging of a very different nature, having his two pit bulls, Satan and Devil, with him.
It is said that when the wind blows from the East and the moon is full, you can still hear the screams of the poor amorous soul as they make their way from Level Three to the pavement, just as he did in an attempt to escape having his vitals noshed by the hounds of Hell!
Walking past the Birtwhistle Art galley ('Friend of Dave' Discount - 20%) you will see what is now a dolls house shop but what was, in its heyday, Worcester's best wargames and RPG emporium. It's said that the spectral form of Trevor still lingers and that, if the night is very still and one whispers 'do you have the AD&D Monster manual?', a ghostly voice replies - 'Sorry, just sold it to a fellow five minutes ago!'
Finally here in Friar Street, if we retrace our steps, we come to the Cardinal's Hat. There have been reports of ghostly going on in this pub for years. The spirits in evidence are not just the ones served in short measures and the bangs, crashes and thumps are not just the sounds of happy mayhem on a Saturday night. No, there have been tales of ghostly apparitions, spectral figures, unexpected chills and strange noises.
Now, very gently, place you hand against the timber beam that stretches from the pavement to the doorframe between the door and window on your left as you look at the pub. Feel the history, imagine what this wood has witnessed, close your eyes…
Still your breath…
[FX: Bowell shattering scream!]
Did you hear that? Now, straight to the bar for a large one and remember to mention you're here because of a Mac Goolies Podcast'.'
And so on.
Of course…the perfect podcast would be a pub-crawl podcast, say a couple of hours long. The programme would direct you from pub to pub and, between pubs, would keep up a constant chatter of meaningless trivia and banter, occasionally punctuated by comments like 'is this off', 'fancy some crisps' or 'is she looking this way?'. This would, I think, be ideal for the lone drinker…or for those of us abandoned while their mate has f**ked off to Brussles.