Beavering away
Like a Wodehousian hero, I have no skills of any use and very little knowledge to impart but do suffer from an exaggerated sense of self importance. Imagine my delight, therefore, when I was asked to help some Beavers.
Beavers are what cubs and hence scouts begin life as, in their larval stage. It's like the Hitler youth, but with badges for managing not to pee yourself rather than bricking the windows of jewellers. My nephew is a Beaver and, when Brown Peewit or whatever asked if any parents/carers/suspicious 'uncles' had a laptop and could come along and help the kids get their I.T. badges, I was volunteered.
This is no doubt because whenever the nephews come around, I retire to the larger study and hunch over the computer in the hope that they will go away. Naturally they associate me with computers as I use my laptop a lot and elbow them off their playstation whenever I visit them.
I used an elderly laptop for the occasion, as having infants paw my powerbook was not my idea of a relaxing time, and parents don't half kick up a fuss when they come to collect their children and find three or four ambulances pulled up by the scout hut.
So last Friday I turned up with laptop and enthusiasm, stone cold sober (mistake) and ready to educate (second mistake).
The three children I had appointed to me knew as much about computers as I did. Interestingly, although they knew what CD ROM, monitor, keyboard and mouse meant, they did not know what 'sit down' meant and came very close to getting a first hand demonstration in what 'greenstick fracture' meant.
I came, I shouted, I educated and I left. I was pleased to note that there was no kind of supervision or background check, so obviously I don't look like a kiddyfiddler. There was a nasty moment when one of the little sods nearly accessed my encrypted selection of eye-watering porn, but with the state the scouting movement are in these days, there's probably a badge for that too.
Beavers are what cubs and hence scouts begin life as, in their larval stage. It's like the Hitler youth, but with badges for managing not to pee yourself rather than bricking the windows of jewellers. My nephew is a Beaver and, when Brown Peewit or whatever asked if any parents/carers/suspicious 'uncles' had a laptop and could come along and help the kids get their I.T. badges, I was volunteered.
This is no doubt because whenever the nephews come around, I retire to the larger study and hunch over the computer in the hope that they will go away. Naturally they associate me with computers as I use my laptop a lot and elbow them off their playstation whenever I visit them.
I used an elderly laptop for the occasion, as having infants paw my powerbook was not my idea of a relaxing time, and parents don't half kick up a fuss when they come to collect their children and find three or four ambulances pulled up by the scout hut.
So last Friday I turned up with laptop and enthusiasm, stone cold sober (mistake) and ready to educate (second mistake).
The three children I had appointed to me knew as much about computers as I did. Interestingly, although they knew what CD ROM, monitor, keyboard and mouse meant, they did not know what 'sit down' meant and came very close to getting a first hand demonstration in what 'greenstick fracture' meant.
I came, I shouted, I educated and I left. I was pleased to note that there was no kind of supervision or background check, so obviously I don't look like a kiddyfiddler. There was a nasty moment when one of the little sods nearly accessed my encrypted selection of eye-watering porn, but with the state the scouting movement are in these days, there's probably a badge for that too.
1 Comments:
You crack me up. Thanks.
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