Thursday, January 26, 2006

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4644630.stm

Abolish the Radio 4 theme? I don’t bloody think so. Why not build an Asda in Trafalgar Square while you’re at it!

The thing about the Radio 4 theme is that it’s broadcast at 5:30 in the morning. I’ve never hard it, I don’t want to hear it and I have no intention of ever hearing it. Indeed until moves were made to scrap it, I’d never heard of it. But until I was six or seven I was unaware of the existence of ‘gravity’ as a concept, but I was bloody glad it was there.

Retaining things that are not appreciated and never used is a fine British tradition, we take comfort in things that are there, even if we don’t even know they are there, like parish halls or corsets. These things matter.

Certainly they matter to the insomniacs and farmers that are the only people who listen to the damn thing. If they replace it, they should replace it with a medley of things that are quintessentially Radio 4: a woman with a breathy voice whispering the shipping forecast (listened to by trawler captains everywhere, tossing on the high seas and knowing that relief will soon be upon them), a snatch of cricket commentary, Humph Littleton making a remark about Samantha in ‘just a minute’, Barry Cryer’s laugh at same, then end on some birdsong, a choice moment from ‘farming today’ and John Peel signing off from ‘Home Truths’. Sod music, people listen to R4 for voices.

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