If you can't stand the heat

Obviously the stokers are on strike here in the building because the heating has gone potty. As a result of problems with the boiler there has been intermittent heating for a few days and it almost has got to the point where office drones are sat hunched round their monitors watching their breath and wearing gloves with the fingers cut out. Luckily we’re quite an ugly and repulsive bunch which means there is no suggestion of hugging one another for warmth although people have clustered round hot PCs for warmth…either that or somebody has disabled the safeguards on their internet access and logged onto Ladbrooks again.

Having fixed the problem, office services are showing what they can do and it’s like Kew Gardens in here at the moment, parched drones stagger along and when you see somebody at the end of a long corridor they appear out of the heat haze like Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia. But without the camel.

Much more of this and we’re going to need care packages - soup for the days the heating is busted, de-odorant for the days they’ve set it to ‘Ice cold in Alex’.