I'm not loving it you tossers!
Lots of stuff in the UK press at the moment about Eric Schlosser’s new book about the giant evil vile corporation that is McDs. I have no beef (geddit?) with McDs itself…or at least I used not to.
I used to enjoy my Big Mac as much as the next teenager, after all, how else am I going to maintain a complexion that was 70% grease and 30% pus. I even overlooked the way that it made me feel sort of queasy afterwards, putting this down to inhaling a huge soggy bun full of ground up testicles and flavour enhancer in about seven seconds.
I read ‘fast food nation’. I got upset about rainforests. I moved on.
I read ‘McLibel’ and got a bit more upset and that upset stayed with me for a bit longer. What that case proved was that McDs exploited children. This was proved. In court. It’s a fact. Now the world doesn’t have a problem with exploiting children (hey, those kids do a great job stitching my sneakers) but I have started to worry about the effect that McDs has on society.
This is because of…litter. I line miles from the nearest McDs…so how the blistering arse do I have McDs wrappers in my front garden? Somebody must actually pick up their food, drive or walk to my neighbourhood and THEN toss the stuff out of the car.
QED - the people who eat at McDs are anti-social gits.
They must be, it’s the only way the litter can get into my front yard.
Enough is enough. I’ve got the address of their head office in the UK and I’m posting the damn stuff back to them from now on. If they can chip chip chip away at decent behaviour bit by bit until tossers believe its okay to toss their tossing wrappers at my house, then I can chip back by posting them their litter back.
I used to enjoy my Big Mac as much as the next teenager, after all, how else am I going to maintain a complexion that was 70% grease and 30% pus. I even overlooked the way that it made me feel sort of queasy afterwards, putting this down to inhaling a huge soggy bun full of ground up testicles and flavour enhancer in about seven seconds.
I read ‘fast food nation’. I got upset about rainforests. I moved on.
I read ‘McLibel’ and got a bit more upset and that upset stayed with me for a bit longer. What that case proved was that McDs exploited children. This was proved. In court. It’s a fact. Now the world doesn’t have a problem with exploiting children (hey, those kids do a great job stitching my sneakers) but I have started to worry about the effect that McDs has on society.
This is because of…litter. I line miles from the nearest McDs…so how the blistering arse do I have McDs wrappers in my front garden? Somebody must actually pick up their food, drive or walk to my neighbourhood and THEN toss the stuff out of the car.
QED - the people who eat at McDs are anti-social gits.
They must be, it’s the only way the litter can get into my front yard.
Enough is enough. I’ve got the address of their head office in the UK and I’m posting the damn stuff back to them from now on. If they can chip chip chip away at decent behaviour bit by bit until tossers believe its okay to toss their tossing wrappers at my house, then I can chip back by posting them their litter back.
1 Comments:
Well, I'm so glad to have you back. While I'm sure you never say anything at all that might create an enemy, I must say that the trash dumping in your yard is probably being put there on purpose. Think about it. If I knew where you lived, and I'd read about your "beef" with McD's or better yet, I worked there, I might just have to drive by and deposit my litter so that you'd continue to have something to complain about. I bet if you look closely, the hamburgers and fries are completely intact meaning only that the litter-bugs are buying food at McD's solely to throw on your lawn. Have you ever seen "Super-Size Me" ??? It's pretty disgusting.
Post a Comment
<< Home