Craporism
This entry brought to you courtesy of four pints of Badger, one pint of Hancock’s and one pint of some organic stuff.
There’s only one thing worse than a terrorist threat, and that’s a crap terrorist threat.
Seriously, some mad-arse with a grudge against god knows what tried to let off a car bomb outside Tiger Tiger. I’ve drunk in Tiger Tiger mate and, here’s the news flash, the ground floor (where your bomb would have done the most damage) consists of a coat-check and a coke vending machine.
The bars are all upstairs. For instance, the last time I was up there I was drinking on the fifth floor. The windows were like slits in a Medieval castle and the walls are Edwardian two foot thick jobs - good luck cracking that one. If you want to let off a bomb, make sure you do it off-beat so we notice.
There were two great moments in the Great Glasgow Bombing. The first was when the tosser who decided to fill his car with 4-star and drive with his head poking out the sunroof and 200 gallons of unleaded swilling around in the car heard the cigar lighter go ‘ping’ and just had time to think ‘oh shi’ before he was rolling on the floor and thanking the nice policeman putting him out. But the second was when the same bloke was PROFOUNDLY grateful for being surrounded by police when 800 Easyjet customers on their way to a stag do in Prague realised they had been delayed by the crisped tosser in the jeep and had to be held back from giving him a fast-track to ‘martyrdom’, if that includes death by kicking.
Certainly, these arseholes are worthy of our contempt and once again I wonder if the correct response to middle-class terrorism is for anyone wronged by them (flight delays, singing etc.) to see if they can’t just get compensation in the form of their house or off their home insurance. I mean, I think I’ve got some sort of insurance cover for my accidently hurting somebody, so surely it’d be pretty hard to deny a claim where your client rammed a jeep into your building.
Oh, and while we’re talking about this - if it had been a Land Rover, there would have been none of this. Okay, so it would have exploded through the terminal building and so on, but if the petrol HAD gone off, the blast would have been contained inside the car. Unless the windows were down.
There’s only one thing worse than a terrorist threat, and that’s a crap terrorist threat.
Seriously, some mad-arse with a grudge against god knows what tried to let off a car bomb outside Tiger Tiger. I’ve drunk in Tiger Tiger mate and, here’s the news flash, the ground floor (where your bomb would have done the most damage) consists of a coat-check and a coke vending machine.
The bars are all upstairs. For instance, the last time I was up there I was drinking on the fifth floor. The windows were like slits in a Medieval castle and the walls are Edwardian two foot thick jobs - good luck cracking that one. If you want to let off a bomb, make sure you do it off-beat so we notice.
There were two great moments in the Great Glasgow Bombing. The first was when the tosser who decided to fill his car with 4-star and drive with his head poking out the sunroof and 200 gallons of unleaded swilling around in the car heard the cigar lighter go ‘ping’ and just had time to think ‘oh shi’ before he was rolling on the floor and thanking the nice policeman putting him out. But the second was when the same bloke was PROFOUNDLY grateful for being surrounded by police when 800 Easyjet customers on their way to a stag do in Prague realised they had been delayed by the crisped tosser in the jeep and had to be held back from giving him a fast-track to ‘martyrdom’, if that includes death by kicking.
Certainly, these arseholes are worthy of our contempt and once again I wonder if the correct response to middle-class terrorism is for anyone wronged by them (flight delays, singing etc.) to see if they can’t just get compensation in the form of their house or off their home insurance. I mean, I think I’ve got some sort of insurance cover for my accidently hurting somebody, so surely it’d be pretty hard to deny a claim where your client rammed a jeep into your building.
Oh, and while we’re talking about this - if it had been a Land Rover, there would have been none of this. Okay, so it would have exploded through the terminal building and so on, but if the petrol HAD gone off, the blast would have been contained inside the car. Unless the windows were down.
Labels: Freedom
1 Comments:
I wonder what they'd do if we just started bombing their restaurants and bars? Certainly they have a few somewhere....Maybe they already do that in Israel. Hmmmm...
OR---we could just stage a huge hologram figure to appear in the skies of the middle east---of course this would be allah---and then we can start delivering our own pro-western propaganda...kind of like that wizard guy on the Wizard of Oz.
sorry, by the way, if I've used every "key alert" word on the planet so that now your blog is going to be listed in some file by the CIA...oh well. I'm sure I already have a file. =)
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