Line two, what's your answer?
There must be people (I imagine, I’m not going to waste one second actually conducting research when I can just throw out an opinion the way a fat kid throws away a McDs wrapper) who are slow to anger, who go through life neither blowing their stack on a regular basis nor, for that matter, burst into tears of joy when shopping for ‘sorry you’re leaving’ cards and find just the perfect one. People, in other words, whom have their emotional thermostats set at room temperature.
I don’t think I’m one of them…not even when I’m sober.
I came close to suspecting I might be one last week. Two stories emerged that, if you believe the media, rock the very fabric of society and, if you believe the opinion of everyone else, not only fit into the slot neatly occupied by such headlines as ‘sky is blue’ and ‘water is wet shock’, but enshrined forever the principle that what is important in one village (in this case the media village and the Westminster village), is not important in that other village known as ‘the rest of the world’. Like local fame, shagging goats in one village does not make you a celebrity across the entire county…unless you take your goat-shagging act on the road and stump up a substantial advertising budget.
The first story was about ‘phone votes and ‘phone-in competitions on the BBC being rigged. Weeks ago the commercial channels had been exposed as rigging votes like bastards. As this was happening on the same channel that ‘Pop Idol’ airs on and everyone remembers it was won by a fat lass last year, so vote-rigging was a surprise to only a few people in a secure ward.
But the BBC. Christ alive! Could we believe anything that they said ever again – because it appears that a couple of competitions were rigged! This cast doubt over everything else…was the news coverage of the Gulf War fair? Was that vase on Antiques Roadshow genuine ming? Is Dawn French really that fat?
The outrage, I guess, is based on the idea that as licence fee payers we are supporting our own rip off, but worse than that, the BBC had compromised their integrity, which they swiftly attempted to make up for in an act of self-immolation worthy of some of the stranger web-sites available. Every news bulletin broadcast by the BBC carried the fiasco as their top story. There was no need, as all the Murdoch ‘press’ were already putting the boot in – though why the papers and news don’t just have ‘watch Sky’ printed in the top right hand corner of the page and screen is beyond me. Too subtle?
Personally, I couldn’t give a toss. Nor, I think, could anyone else. If this had been something that somebody had cared about, like rigging the national lottery, then the only thing to do would be to get down Television centre with some spuds wrapped in foil and cook them in the embers of whatever was left of the building.
The only thing I’ve voted in and cared about the result was ‘restoration’ – posh persons Pop Idol where you vote to save a building. Oh, and ‘any dream will do’. I voted for Lee, he won the part of Joseph and my wife is watching him on stage tonight in the show. So…where’s the rip-off (apart from £50 a ticket for an old show!).
Oh, and the other thing? No prosecutions in cash for honours. Police criticised for investigating but not prosecuting…possibly by the sort of people that think that a police investigation should take two hours, take place in a picturesque part of England and end up with the conviction of the one you suspected right from the start, because she used to be in that sit-com.
I don’t think I’m one of them…not even when I’m sober.
I came close to suspecting I might be one last week. Two stories emerged that, if you believe the media, rock the very fabric of society and, if you believe the opinion of everyone else, not only fit into the slot neatly occupied by such headlines as ‘sky is blue’ and ‘water is wet shock’, but enshrined forever the principle that what is important in one village (in this case the media village and the Westminster village), is not important in that other village known as ‘the rest of the world’. Like local fame, shagging goats in one village does not make you a celebrity across the entire county…unless you take your goat-shagging act on the road and stump up a substantial advertising budget.
The first story was about ‘phone votes and ‘phone-in competitions on the BBC being rigged. Weeks ago the commercial channels had been exposed as rigging votes like bastards. As this was happening on the same channel that ‘Pop Idol’ airs on and everyone remembers it was won by a fat lass last year, so vote-rigging was a surprise to only a few people in a secure ward.
But the BBC. Christ alive! Could we believe anything that they said ever again – because it appears that a couple of competitions were rigged! This cast doubt over everything else…was the news coverage of the Gulf War fair? Was that vase on Antiques Roadshow genuine ming? Is Dawn French really that fat?
The outrage, I guess, is based on the idea that as licence fee payers we are supporting our own rip off, but worse than that, the BBC had compromised their integrity, which they swiftly attempted to make up for in an act of self-immolation worthy of some of the stranger web-sites available. Every news bulletin broadcast by the BBC carried the fiasco as their top story. There was no need, as all the Murdoch ‘press’ were already putting the boot in – though why the papers and news don’t just have ‘watch Sky’ printed in the top right hand corner of the page and screen is beyond me. Too subtle?
Personally, I couldn’t give a toss. Nor, I think, could anyone else. If this had been something that somebody had cared about, like rigging the national lottery, then the only thing to do would be to get down Television centre with some spuds wrapped in foil and cook them in the embers of whatever was left of the building.
The only thing I’ve voted in and cared about the result was ‘restoration’ – posh persons Pop Idol where you vote to save a building. Oh, and ‘any dream will do’. I voted for Lee, he won the part of Joseph and my wife is watching him on stage tonight in the show. So…where’s the rip-off (apart from £50 a ticket for an old show!).
Oh, and the other thing? No prosecutions in cash for honours. Police criticised for investigating but not prosecuting…possibly by the sort of people that think that a police investigation should take two hours, take place in a picturesque part of England and end up with the conviction of the one you suspected right from the start, because she used to be in that sit-com.
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