Friday, September 14, 2007

The problem is not ‘Christine’

I’m pretty sure that, automobiles that have been possessed by malicious spirits excepted, cars are not actually evil. It’s just that the drivers of cars are stupid.

On my jaunt from office to railway station, I have to cross a few roads, thankfully with the aid of pedestrian lights. The problem is that some drivers think that it’s okay to sit in slow moving traffic right across the pedestrian crossing bit. I presume some of them have passed their driving test and so know the Highway Code prohibits this. One would also assume that they have a degree of common sense and are able to think ‘a-ha, a coloured strip in the road between traffic lights with a crowd gathered on the pavement, I will stop short of it so that if the lights change, I won’t obstruct anyone’.

Which is why, when the sort of gormless, drooling, self-centred arsewits do stop across the crossing, they must be either so stupid that they shouldn’t be in a car or incredibly self centred. Possibly it’s a result of being exposed to the sort of radio programmes that air at ‘drive time’, or maybe there’s some chemical they put in dashboards that make people stupid.

It probably doesn’t do to get too worked up about this sort of thing, after all, I can skip lithely along between traffic, while they sit there and fume in fumes.

I do occasionally wonder though if they behave like this in all aspects of their life, do they stop with their shopping trolly in the supermarket doorway, or stand in the entrance to a crowded tube platform? I really hope the latter, because if they try that shit in London your average commuter would simply push them under the next available train - and if one wasn’t available simply kick them to death. It also makes you wonder to just what extent the flickering intelligence they exhibit allows them to get any joy out of life - do they know how to cook? Read? Programme the video? Doubtful.

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