Random notes on the NHS
Hospitals, big ones especially with their cafes, post offices, different buildings, people hurrying from building to building, inhabitants and visitors, are like villages.
There are four distinct tribes that can be observed around the hospital village. The first is the doctors, wearing their passes round their necks like an identity-concious Mr T. The second are the swiggers. Ever wondered why the makers of fizzy drinks make so much money? It's because of all the hospital staff swigging the stuff. Every second person is walking around with a bottle of coke or seven up in their hand. Obviously the long hours and need to keep concentration mean that you need sugar and caffeine.
The third tribe are the smokers, or rather, the stupid smokers. The whole village is a non smoking area. Never mind not being able to smoke in the buildings, you can't smoke in the car park or anywhere on the premises. Not that the signs saying this stop the smokers from doing just that. Presumably they are too stupid to read the no smoking signs, just as they are too stupid to read the health warning on the cigarette packers, possibly the reason they are in hospital in the first place. Or maybe they are hear for another reason. Certainly the heavily pregnant lady I saw pulling on a fab outside the pregnancy unit could have been here about her pregnancy, some sort of smoking related problem, or maybe she was being tested for being stupid enough to smoke while pregnant.
The final tribe are the fatties. Leaving the hospital last night I had to squeeze past a family of three that filled the corridor. There was mum, daughter and son. Each of them looked amazingly overweight, the kids looked exactly like the fat kids hat Gary Larson draws in his 'Far Side' cartoons, they had that kind of fat where their elbows where starting to lose definition in the fat of their arms. The kids were not even teens yet I'm guessing, probably mum was booking them into the cardio clinic.
There are four distinct tribes that can be observed around the hospital village. The first is the doctors, wearing their passes round their necks like an identity-concious Mr T. The second are the swiggers. Ever wondered why the makers of fizzy drinks make so much money? It's because of all the hospital staff swigging the stuff. Every second person is walking around with a bottle of coke or seven up in their hand. Obviously the long hours and need to keep concentration mean that you need sugar and caffeine.
The third tribe are the smokers, or rather, the stupid smokers. The whole village is a non smoking area. Never mind not being able to smoke in the buildings, you can't smoke in the car park or anywhere on the premises. Not that the signs saying this stop the smokers from doing just that. Presumably they are too stupid to read the no smoking signs, just as they are too stupid to read the health warning on the cigarette packers, possibly the reason they are in hospital in the first place. Or maybe they are hear for another reason. Certainly the heavily pregnant lady I saw pulling on a fab outside the pregnancy unit could have been here about her pregnancy, some sort of smoking related problem, or maybe she was being tested for being stupid enough to smoke while pregnant.
The final tribe are the fatties. Leaving the hospital last night I had to squeeze past a family of three that filled the corridor. There was mum, daughter and son. Each of them looked amazingly overweight, the kids looked exactly like the fat kids hat Gary Larson draws in his 'Far Side' cartoons, they had that kind of fat where their elbows where starting to lose definition in the fat of their arms. The kids were not even teens yet I'm guessing, probably mum was booking them into the cardio clinic.
Labels: National Health Service, NHS, Smokers
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