Pyrotechnic
Much excitement as am off to buy fireworks this weekend.
Since legislation about arms dealing and fireworks was weakened to the extent that dangerously huge fireworks from China are now available (where before you'd have to have a licence from the M.O.D. to import some of this stuff) November 5th has, in my opinion, improved beyond measure.
And not just at the lighting of the blue touch paper and the running like hell for the bunker. It's the names that I like. 'Golden shower', 'spanking monkey', 'crushing of democracy' are a few favourites.
Looking forward this year to sourcing some cheap and dangerous knock-off Vietnamese fireworks, such as the 'Tet' - which when I first heard about it I assumed to be a celebration in a box, as the Tet holiday is, I understand, Christmas, New Year and so on rolled into one. Closer investigation has revealed that 'the Tet reproduces the sights, sounds and bangs of the heady days of terror in Hanoi during the offensive! Light the blue touch paper, listen to the fusillade of bangs and crashes and watch every 'Nam vet for, or indeed anyone who has seen Full Metal Jacket, Plattoon AND Hamburger Hill, for miles around scream 'incoming' and attempt to dig a fox-hole with their teeth while s*itting into their fatigues.'
Available at Argos. Now that HAS to be worth £7.99 of anyone's money.
Since legislation about arms dealing and fireworks was weakened to the extent that dangerously huge fireworks from China are now available (where before you'd have to have a licence from the M.O.D. to import some of this stuff) November 5th has, in my opinion, improved beyond measure.
And not just at the lighting of the blue touch paper and the running like hell for the bunker. It's the names that I like. 'Golden shower', 'spanking monkey', 'crushing of democracy' are a few favourites.
Looking forward this year to sourcing some cheap and dangerous knock-off Vietnamese fireworks, such as the 'Tet' - which when I first heard about it I assumed to be a celebration in a box, as the Tet holiday is, I understand, Christmas, New Year and so on rolled into one. Closer investigation has revealed that 'the Tet reproduces the sights, sounds and bangs of the heady days of terror in Hanoi during the offensive! Light the blue touch paper, listen to the fusillade of bangs and crashes and watch every 'Nam vet for, or indeed anyone who has seen Full Metal Jacket, Plattoon AND Hamburger Hill, for miles around scream 'incoming' and attempt to dig a fox-hole with their teeth while s*itting into their fatigues.'
Available at Argos. Now that HAS to be worth £7.99 of anyone's money.
1 Comments:
It's nice to know that there is still a place in the world where you can have some good ol' fashioned fun with explosives. Not to be too deep, but right after my father passed away, my grandmother gave me $70 for my road trip to Atlanta. I spent the entire $70 on "illegal" fireworks which I bought out of a trailer by the Wal-Mart. =)
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