More on the train
Sat on the train this morning with, apparently, my ‘chav magnet’ turned on. Chavvy brother and sister sat next to me and in the space of a half hour journey managed to make two telephone calls, send a message to a stranger in the carriage by Bluetooth send a txt msg or two and re-create the Odessa Steps scene from Battleship Potemkin using glove puppets while filming it on their camera-phones.
Okay, so I made the last bit up but it would have been great if they did. It would also have been great if the girl could lose three stone and wash her hair, but that’s not going to happen either.
I was going to post my usual style of blog entry pissing and moaning about life in the carriage but hey, I could just cut and paste any previous entry, couldn’t I. So instead, I’m going to post something enthusiastic.
There’s a lot to be enthusiastic about. The air at the moment is moist but spring-like. Because of my guttering I now don’t care if it rains and I’m happy when it doesn’t - talk about the best of both worlds. My gardener reports that my ‘Winston Churchill’ daffodils are coming out and very cheerful they look too.
Other reasons to be cheerful - exiting the stately pile this morning a neighbour asked if I wanted a lift in her shiny red sports car. I declined and strolled to the train station and I’m glad to be offered a lift but even gladder I declined as I saw her rocket past me at about 900mph, a speed which would have resulted in my digging my fingernails into her dashboard and exclaiming something along the lines of ‘fucking hell! Slow down!’ while testing the scotchguarding on her seats.
One of the main reasons I’m cheerful is that my iPod is working again and this morning like some Marvel superhero I was able to raise my sonic shield as the Chavs babbled away. It was a double pleasure as not only was I cocooned in my wee world of noise, but I had the Stone Roses in my ears. I was nearly squirming with joy although restrained myself because that is the sort of behaviour that leads to stares, court appearances and ultimately being led from the back of a police van with a blanket over your head.
And now I’m going to stop myself before I start sounding like one of those chain e mails that have pictures of puppies and end with ‘send this to ten people you think need cheering up’. Thinking about it, there must somewhere be a picture of a puppy about to step on a land-mine that you send to ten people who have been too damn chirpy by half recently and need a good dose of misery.
Okay, so I made the last bit up but it would have been great if they did. It would also have been great if the girl could lose three stone and wash her hair, but that’s not going to happen either.
I was going to post my usual style of blog entry pissing and moaning about life in the carriage but hey, I could just cut and paste any previous entry, couldn’t I. So instead, I’m going to post something enthusiastic.
There’s a lot to be enthusiastic about. The air at the moment is moist but spring-like. Because of my guttering I now don’t care if it rains and I’m happy when it doesn’t - talk about the best of both worlds. My gardener reports that my ‘Winston Churchill’ daffodils are coming out and very cheerful they look too.
Other reasons to be cheerful - exiting the stately pile this morning a neighbour asked if I wanted a lift in her shiny red sports car. I declined and strolled to the train station and I’m glad to be offered a lift but even gladder I declined as I saw her rocket past me at about 900mph, a speed which would have resulted in my digging my fingernails into her dashboard and exclaiming something along the lines of ‘fucking hell! Slow down!’ while testing the scotchguarding on her seats.
One of the main reasons I’m cheerful is that my iPod is working again and this morning like some Marvel superhero I was able to raise my sonic shield as the Chavs babbled away. It was a double pleasure as not only was I cocooned in my wee world of noise, but I had the Stone Roses in my ears. I was nearly squirming with joy although restrained myself because that is the sort of behaviour that leads to stares, court appearances and ultimately being led from the back of a police van with a blanket over your head.
And now I’m going to stop myself before I start sounding like one of those chain e mails that have pictures of puppies and end with ‘send this to ten people you think need cheering up’. Thinking about it, there must somewhere be a picture of a puppy about to step on a land-mine that you send to ten people who have been too damn chirpy by half recently and need a good dose of misery.
3 Comments:
Oh dear---you know, I am at work and trying to stifle laughter so that the Russian doesn't jot it down on his notepad "9:35am: She must not have been working as she was laughing hysterically". It's really sick, and most likely why I've kept coming back, that I find the thought of a puppy stepping on a land mine even remotely humorous.
Oh, and I have no idea what a "chav" is---although i suppose I get the idea.
Okay, try:
http://www.chavscum.co.uk/
Not sure you have an equivalent in the states. I've been to trailer parks and the people who live there are not Chavs. What we're talking about here is an underclass with money for mobile phones, junk food and car pimping, but not enough money for, oh, say, taxes.
Oh I get it now...unfortunately in America we're not allowed to say anything negative about those people. If you do, you will either get shot or be considered a close-minded neo-con Christian girl from the South...oh, wait a second....hmmmmm.
Also, how did you know that the building where I work is called the Overlook? I'm not even joking.
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