Bicker bicker bicker
Either I was being sensitive (not something I’m normally accused of), or last weekend was some sort of two-day festival of bickering.
Bickering is to argument what background radiation is to Chenoyble. It doesn’t take that much energy, which is why it can be sustained for hours. Normally it’s conducted in a low voice. This is so that others cannot hear. The problem is that two people talking in a low voice naturally attracts attention. In addition, people hissssssssss when bickering, and this has the action of clearly enunciating every word. The law of bickering dictates that bickering ends when somebody talks in their normal voice - this is usually to say ‘Oh bloody well do it then, just like you always do!’ and after prolonged whispering the normal voice has the effect of the Voice of God in a sword ‘n’ sandal epic.
So it was good to hear two young chavs doing a bit of freestyle bickering on Sunday. As I wandered down the street behind them, I was treated to a full range of character analysis punctuated by tip-top swearing. Imagine Freud with tourett’s. Then they stopped, turned round and walked all the way back down the street, keeping up their constant argument. The interesting thing was that it showed no sign of peaking or resolving - perhaps this is their base state - I certainly hope so, because it means they’ll never breed and produce an offspring as ugly as they were.
Uncharitable? Moi?
Bickering is to argument what background radiation is to Chenoyble. It doesn’t take that much energy, which is why it can be sustained for hours. Normally it’s conducted in a low voice. This is so that others cannot hear. The problem is that two people talking in a low voice naturally attracts attention. In addition, people hissssssssss when bickering, and this has the action of clearly enunciating every word. The law of bickering dictates that bickering ends when somebody talks in their normal voice - this is usually to say ‘Oh bloody well do it then, just like you always do!’ and after prolonged whispering the normal voice has the effect of the Voice of God in a sword ‘n’ sandal epic.
So it was good to hear two young chavs doing a bit of freestyle bickering on Sunday. As I wandered down the street behind them, I was treated to a full range of character analysis punctuated by tip-top swearing. Imagine Freud with tourett’s. Then they stopped, turned round and walked all the way back down the street, keeping up their constant argument. The interesting thing was that it showed no sign of peaking or resolving - perhaps this is their base state - I certainly hope so, because it means they’ll never breed and produce an offspring as ugly as they were.
Uncharitable? Moi?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home