The wet nose of the law
I've seen enough teevee programmes with titles like 'police, camera, beating', 'cops 'n' cars', or 'you're nicked scum' to know that if an officer asks you something you don't make a run for it and hide in a dustbin (thermal cameras will find you), you don't try and hit the policeman (CS gas) and you don't answer back (taser).
I have also seen a documentary about police dogs. These come in two flavours - Alsatians who do 'crowd control' (a dog is snarling at exactly crotch level - do not antagonise) or the rather dopier sniffer dogs, usually spaniels, who are trained by sniffing out treats and so look wildly happy whenever they find some bloke with semtex or smack down their pants.
However, I love dogs, especially gundogs and spaniels in particular are a family favourite.
Which is why, when I was walking through the station past a half dozen policemen and their sniffer dog, and the dog came up to me with his tail going wildly, my natural reaction was to lean down, ruffle his ears and say 'hello!' In that special 'talking to dogs' voice.
His handler was not amused. Apparently it's not the done thing to fondle an officer's ears when they are on duty, especially as the dog loved it and the tail started doing even faster.
His handler, rightly assuming that I was unlikely to be capable of carrying enough drugs to elicit that sort of response from the dog, growled 'just keep walking' and I strolled off with that 'just patted a dog, feel pretty cheerful' feeling, while pondering if my trousers might have the same chemical signature as crack. Or bacon.
I have also seen a documentary about police dogs. These come in two flavours - Alsatians who do 'crowd control' (a dog is snarling at exactly crotch level - do not antagonise) or the rather dopier sniffer dogs, usually spaniels, who are trained by sniffing out treats and so look wildly happy whenever they find some bloke with semtex or smack down their pants.
However, I love dogs, especially gundogs and spaniels in particular are a family favourite.
Which is why, when I was walking through the station past a half dozen policemen and their sniffer dog, and the dog came up to me with his tail going wildly, my natural reaction was to lean down, ruffle his ears and say 'hello!' In that special 'talking to dogs' voice.
His handler was not amused. Apparently it's not the done thing to fondle an officer's ears when they are on duty, especially as the dog loved it and the tail started doing even faster.
His handler, rightly assuming that I was unlikely to be capable of carrying enough drugs to elicit that sort of response from the dog, growled 'just keep walking' and I strolled off with that 'just patted a dog, feel pretty cheerful' feeling, while pondering if my trousers might have the same chemical signature as crack. Or bacon.
1 Comments:
I considered making some comment about your pants smelling like Alpo, but have thought again and am going to refrain from doing so.
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