Postcard from Winchester - the inn

The Wykeham Arms in Winchester is astonishingly good. The place is decorated with the stuff that the landlord has collected - which appears to be everything in the world, and then every pewter tankard ever made. A bloke would describe it as the interior of the ultimate shed, a woman might describe it as charming, and tolerate it in a way that would baffle and annoy any chap who has been forced into disposing of his plastic dinosaur collection on eBay because the space in the back room is needed for a wardrobe, or a baby. I suppose the difference is that given the place is cluttered to the point where you suspect the landlord is a hoarder, it's all astonishingly dust free. I suspect dedicated staff, or elves. The place looks like a posh junk shop that's licensed. Luckily, it also has wonderful open fires, sells fabulous beer (Jack Frost) and has regulars that lend it, well, charm.

In a perfect world, my own home would resemble the rooms at the Wykeham, especially with regard to ale on tap. But it takes a lot of space to make a room look good by cramming it with curios. The ceiling has to be high to enable the tankards to dangle freely, and the art on the walls has to be arranged just so, with oil paintings cheek by jowl with framed post cards, cigarette cards and the odd Victorian porno shot in sepia to see if you are paying attention.

The regulars pack the place out, and one has to be careful where one steps for fear of treading on dog. The resulting look of hurt that any of the charming and well bred animals that litter the floor on a Saturday night would give you would be almost as bad as the savaging one might also expect if you tread on the wrong paw.

Idiosyncratic charm through cluttered curios can be a look that's hard to pull off. Beer helps, both serving it and drinking it. If in Winchester, this is the place to drink. There's a lot to see in the city but equally a lot to see in each room of the pub. They should do one of those booklets where you have to spot a certain item in each room, spot them all...win a pint!