Postcard from Norfolk - The importance of chips

Saturday. Burnham Market is awash with bloody bloody weekenders. This means that basically, you have to park the car at Burnham Thorpe and walk in. After a wander round sought sustenance in the Ship at Brancaster, only to find that they don’t start serving until an hour after we were there and hungry.

Bolted instead to the White Horse which serves food all day, and where we recovered.

It is odd that the pubs on the coast don’t serve food all day. There are walkers along the coastal path, and birdwatchers who like beer and like chips at any time of the day. Up in Yorkshire they realised that walkers walk until they are hungry and then stop by and you had better have your kitchen open to flog them 8,000 calories at inflated process, and chips.

I’d actually forgotten how good the food is in the White Horse. I’ve not been in there for a few years and chef makes a mean crab salad. And of course there’s the chance to walk it off along the coastal path that runs along the back of the hotel.

Postcard from Edinburgh - The ladies' special

Café Piccante in Edinburgh is quite a place. It has very good food, but that’s not why I love it. It does deep fried mars bar, but that’s not why I love it. It’s licensed, but that’s not it…okay, so it is a bit.

No, the reason that Cafe Piccante deserves to be visited and patronised by every right thinking person everywhere is that at the end of the many choices of food listed there on the board above the counter, is the ‘ladies' special’.

The ladies' special is chips and cheese and a glass of wine.

Let’s take those one at a time. Chips and cheese? Chips and cheese! Chips. And cheese. This I now know to be chips with grated cheese melted on top of it. I saw a lady come in, order this and then sit down and eat it with every indication of relish. Thinking about it, what’s so odd? In the wild West Midlands we love our chips and curry sauce (better for avoiding a hangover than not actually drinking), and in t’north they love their chips and gravy. Trust the classy Edinburgh crowd to come up with a development where you can actually add another solid…that then goes to a liquid state!

But it’s the glass of wine with the ladies special that really makes it for me. That touch of class that hints that you also need to be a wee bitty pished to really enjoy your chips and cheese.

The mans' special, by the way, was a burger and a bottle of beer. What’s so fucking special about that? I want my glass of wine!